


Ain’t No Sunshine

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (hissed in crowley's voice), Best Friends, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel Heals Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Humanity (Supernatural), Castiel Thinks Dean Winchester is Dead, Castiel Watches Dean Winchester Sleep, Castiel Watches Over Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel is Loved (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Oblivious (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Okay (Supernatural), Castiel is Older Than Dean Winchester, Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Castiel is So Done (Supernatural), Castiel is a Winchester (Supernatural), Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Castiel's Handprint (Supernatural), Castiel's Tan Trenchcoat (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Men of Letters Bunker, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), Crying Castiel (Supernatural), Crying Sam Winchester, Dead Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has a Fear of Flying, Dean Winchester Hates Witches, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves The Impala, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", Dean Winchester Takes Care of Castiel, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester in Heaven, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s15e01 Back and to the Future, Episode: s15e02 Raising Hell, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture - Bunker Breakup Scene, Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Episode: s15e09 The Trap - Dean Winchester's Prayer Scene, Episode: s15e10 The Heroes' Journey, Episode: s15e20 (Supernatural), Eye Sex, Feelings, Feels, First Kiss, First Love, Hunter's Funeral (Supernatural), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Sam Winchester, Personal Space, Post-Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Protective Dean Winchester, Quote: "Bitch." "Jerk." (Supernatural), Quote: Angels are watching over you. (Supernatural), Quote: I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. (Supernatural), Quote: Morning sunshine (Supernatural: Nightmare Logic), Quote: No chick-flick moments. (Supernatural), Quote: We are. (Supernatural), Quote: Without your power you're basically just a baby in a trenchcoat. (Supernatural), Sad Ending, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Sam Winchester Knows, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester is Not Amused, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Sam Winchester is So Done, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, The Impala (Supernatural), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unrequited Love, Whump, ugly crying, what is personal space????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: The body on the pyre is something neither of them wish to see.Yet, out of respect, they hold their gaze steady, watching as Dean – or what remains of him – slowly burns.The listen to the sickening, squelching ‘pop’ as his skull explodes from the heat.How is he supposed to carry on without his big brother. Even in his last moments, Dean had pulled Cass close and told him to look out for Sam.To his left Cass stands, a dissonant figure, his coat almost slipping off. The poison had been something not even angel grace could heal.He remembers the frantic way Cass had shoved him aside when Dean fell to the floor. It had been after a hunt.“I hate witches.” Dean gasps, hanging onto Cass like a lifeboat.“It’s okay Dean.” Sam assured. “We’ll bring you back.”“No.” Dean coughed, blood splattering everywhere. “We need to stop Sam. Just let me go.”“No.” Sam insisted. “It can’t end like this. I won’t allow it.”Dean’s eyes drift to Cass. “Promise me. You’ll watch over him. Let me go. Both of you.”To his surprise Cass had just leaned down, pressing a kiss to Dean’s nose. Then they stared at each other.“It was real. You were never alone.”
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 17
Kudos: 77





	Ain’t No Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Warning:
> 
> This is the most depressing thing I've ever written.

The body on the pyre is something neither of them wish to see.

Yet, out of respect, they hold their gaze steady, watching as Dean – or what remains of him – slowly burns.

The listen to the sickening, squelching ‘pop’ as his skull explodes from the intense heat. Sam shuts his eyes at the sound, swallowing down his tears like a Winchester does.

How is he supposed to do this? How is he supposed to carry on without his big brother. Even in his last moments, Dean had pulled Cass close and told him to look out for Sam.

Dean made sure that he had someone to look out for him, even when there was no one to look out for Dean.

Sam presses his fit to his mouth, biting down harshly to stop his cries from escaping.

To his left Cass stands, a dissonant figure, with shoulders slouched and his coat almost slipping off. His face is set and his eyes are locked onto Dean’s lifeless body. The poison had been something not even angel grace could heal.

He remembers the frantic way Cass had shoved him aside when Dean fell to the floor. It had been after a hunt. They were happy to have made it out alive. Dean was the only one who had shed blood. He was the only one who was subject to the venom of the blade. He had almost fallen onto Sam while coming down the bunker stairs and Sam had almost shoved him off, thinking that Dean was just joking around.

They had taken him and laid him flat on the map table. Sam moved to check his breathing, but Cass shoved him aside, placing his hands on Dean’s cheek, casting a light on his entire face.

It went on for minutes, while Sam dug through the lore, trying to find a name for the poison working it’s way through his brother’s blood stream. Cass had kept his hands on Dean’s face for almost an hour before Dean reached up to clutch at his wrist.

“Stop.” He had said.

Sam wished it would stop. He wished the blood would stop flowing from Dean’s lips, he wishes that he could kill that witch a thousand times. And he will.

“I hate witches.” Dean gasps, hanging onto Cass like a lifeboat.

“It’s okay Dean.” Sam assured. “We’ll bring you back.”

“No.” Dean coughed, blood splattering everywhere. “We need to stop Sam. Just let me go.”

“No.” Sam insisted. “It can’t end like this. I won’t allow it.”

Dean’s eyes drift to Cass. “Promise me. You’ll watch over him. Let me go. Both of you.”

To his surprise Cass had just leaned down, pressing a kiss to Dean’s nose. Then they stared at each other.

“It was real. You were never alone.”

“Dean.” Cass’ breath hitched and his hand pressed to his mouth.

Sam stood opposite them in confusion. Does Cass actually understand what Dean’s last words could be, or is he just trying to placate him?

Dean coughed and Sam clenched his fist.

“I’ll see you bitch.”

“Jerk.” His fist left craters under his eyes from the force of trying to hold his tears back.

As Dean’s coughing becomes more and more frequent, Cass smooths a hand over his hair. “It’s okay Dean. Sam and I will be fine. You don’t have to worry. You can rest now my dearest friend.” His hands had never stopped glowing and they had never left Dean’s face, pouring every ounce of energy into the off chance that this might work.

Sam knows it won’t. But he doesn’t have the heart to stop him.

Sam had raged when the life left Dean’s eyes. He had ranted and cursed, shaking even Cass who seemed lost somewhere within himself and Dean’s body.

Grief had made him mad. Selfish.

He knows that Dean had asked Cass to watch over him. But Sam knows that he had expected him to watch over Cass too.

Cass hadn’t said a word to him since the incident. He had just been a stoic figure, doing what needed to be done with a silent efficiency.

Cass’ eyes are still locked onto Dean’s burning body. “Cass?”

Cass just swallows and shakes his head. “Dean’s gone.” He says hollowly.

And they stand like that until the fire burns out, till the ashes are all that remains. Cass pulls out an urn, previously concealed by his trench-coat and collects the ashes reverently before sealing the container.

“Should we scatter his ashes?” Cass asks softly, his voice shaky as though he can’t believe what his mouth is saying.

“Maybe we should.” Sam admits. “But right now I just want to hold onto any piece of him I can get.”

…

“You think he’s in heaven?” Sam asks quietly.

The urn rests on the Impala’s dashboard. Sam’s hands balance on the wheel, his body feeling unnatural in the driver’s seat. Cass is at his side, practically melting into the leather seats.

“I know he is.”

That gives him pause.

“I made arrangements for you both.” Cass says quietly. “A heaven of your own choosing. One where you would not be trapped.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

When Cass looks at him his eyes are broken. “Because Dean is gone.”

He swallows.

They sit in silence for a while. They watch as the sun sets and the darkness blankets them both.

“Sam, I loved him.” The words burst from Cass along with a sob.

Sam had expected this. The dam to break.

Cass had been quiet in his grief for so long.

“Me too Cass.” Sam says, wondering if the angel would appreciate a hand on his back.

“No.” he moans, drawing his knees up to hide his face. “I was in love with him Sam.”

If possible, Sam feels his heart break again.

He wants to say something. Console him. But his words are empty and he knows it. He knows better than anyone else… you don’t recover from losing your first love.


End file.
